| Whoa... It's been a long time since I've updated, so I will... because I have time.. haha
Let's see, what's been going on...
Oracle... wow... some crazzy times recently, but we all came through... now we're sorta an autonomous paper now, which is pretty cool in some sense. Although, having a paper without a real adviser has its drawbacks, but whatever... I think we'll all do fine for the rest of the year and next year. And everyone's getting promoted now! Juniors are taking overr... I'm ASSISTANT News Editor until Jarod decides to promote me =D... haha.. so Jarod.. YOU'RE THE KOOLESTTT!!... well, I know in the beginning of the year I wasn't sure if Oracle was something I really wanted to do, but now I decided that it is. It's not the writing aspect that I really enjoyed, though it's ok, it's the fact that I grew up a lot because of that class. Having people criticize you, yelling at you, while still caring for you forces you to analyze yourself and your flaws. It's quite an enlightening experience, and I'm glad I went through it. Also, the people are kool.. Oracle Family!!!... still slightly divorced but still kool.. haha.. there wasn't really a bonding experience in the family, so next year we better have one
PSST... what can I say... haha.. It's GREEEATT!!.. still.. one of the few clubs I am still involved in.. err.. actually, the only club I'm really involved in. I love it. It's a good counter to everthing impersonal and academic I'm doing. I love the people, I love the events, I love how all the hard work pays off for everything we do, I love how we don't work hard sometimes and still pull everything off while bonding, I just love it. I like this family better than the Oracle Family (no offense)... cuz we do bond and we didn't divorce for a month.. haha
Tao Lab - I have spent so much time doing this. I have spent most of my spring break doing this. On Tuesday, I stayed at CalState from 9 in the morning until 7 at night, reading an atmospheric chemistry book. This has caused me stressed, because I wasn't satisfied with the project I was working on for the past month. It didn't seem significant to me, so I did not find it too interesting. I think I found something else today that could be more significant and more interesting, so I should be more involved now. I know this thing has required a lot of hard work from me, but hey, I am enjoying it in some ways. It's a learning experience. I like how I am doing something that I may be interested in for my future, although the greatest motivation force is the prospect of winning Siemens/Intel and getting my paper published (I know it shouldn't be and it should just be for the learning experience, but hey... it's there).. Still, I am really dedicated to this and want to put as much energy as I can into this.
School - eh.. school is school. haha.. I don't know what to say. The aspects of "schoolwork" and "high school" are not really important to me. The three things I listed before are much more important than regular school to me. Generalized school is pointless, it's the extracurricular things and preparing for you're future and stuff you enjoy that are important... or that's what I think. What's the point of a physics test or a math quiz when compared to a growing up experience, a close bond to friends, and a basis for your future interests?
Socially - eh... this is suffering. I'm spreading myself too thin over academic and extracurricular stuff to spend any real time in this. I have been feeling really isolated recently because of all this, and a little depressed at times. I am grateful for the close friends I have, but I even feel isolated from them. I hope this phase will pass in the future. It isn't one I enjoy.
Church and Religion - I REALLY HAVE TO WORK ON THIS. I feel really isolated in this. I am spending way too much time on the things above that I feel that I am neglecting God and my own beliefs. I want to be more involved in my church. Right now, I have a sinecure position on my youth board... I have status but I am not doing anything. I really want to get involved next year or this summer when I have time.
Miscellaneous - haha, ok... the rest
First of all, I've noticed that my views on a lot of people have changed. I remember, freshman year, hearing about people like Peter Pawlowski and sophomore year listening to 10 minute descriptions of Angela Shih and Ryan Moy during the Rotary dinner... I was awed and impressed. These people were like my role models. I wanted to achieve what they achieved, but know that I can never do what they did. Now, I don't know, it doesn't matter much anymore... what they did seems achievable now, but that doesn't matter either... I want to do what I enjoy, what I think is best for me, and the achievements of those past "geniuses" seem to be of little significance now, although I still think they are amazing.
Also, I've had a talk with some really smart seniors (Julian and Jackie.. HAPPY? =D ) who have major senioritis and they really made me think about a lot of the thigns I'm doing. I know I'm contradicting myself in this entry a lot, but I've been thinking, the stuff that I think I'm doing that I think are good for me may not actually be the best for me... I don't know, I'm confused. It's making me think about things I don't wan tot think about. Damn you smart seniors!... haha, I still look up to you guys though, in some ways.... haha
Ah.. ok... then there's college and my future... what I really want to do in the future is cure cancer... I know it sounds stupid, but hey... everyone has the potential to do it... Did anyone ever expect Einstein to revolutionize our perspective of the universe? Did anyone ever expect Neil Armstrong to go to the moon? No, ... so that means I have potential to do what I want to do, although it is unlikely... but hey, it's worth a try. Cancer sucks, I've seen its effects too often. I want it to end. I also am happiest when other people are happy, so by doing this, I think I will be doing something I enjoy. O and for college I want to go to Stanford I think but I'm not too sure and that's not that important and this is a huge run on sentence so ok.
Furthermore (I'm using transitions)... I'm acting really cocky right now. There used to be something that inhibited me from doing this, but now, iono, I don't care anymore... or that's what it seems like. I am very judgmental now. I make prejudiced assumptions of people. I get annoyed easily. I don't like this. I despise cockiness, and I especially don't want to see it in myself. I hope this can change....
well, that's it i think, there's probably a lot more... and I'll probably update again in another year or so.. haha |
